


funny you're the broken one (but i'm the one who needed saving)

by OneSweetMelody



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 06:55:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9060910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneSweetMelody/pseuds/OneSweetMelody
Summary: It starts with a broken mug and Jean isn't sure how it'll end.Jean thinks that there's a time limit on his relationship with Jeremy and Jeremy doesn't know how to help.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Gift for @find-yourself-in-passion on Tumblr.

It starts with a broken mug.

It’s not that the kitchen is messy, Jean has learned to take up as little space as possible and leave very little indication of his presence behind as to not enrage his superiors. The only other person who visits his dorm with any degree of frequency and uses his kitchenette is Jeremy and even he is in the habit of cleaning up after himself. It’s not about the broken mug the same way it’s not about the smudged glass in the sink or the dirty cutlery. But Jean is still on his hands and knees in the narrow space of tiled floor picking up pieces of his favorite yellow mug.

“Jean–”

“What.”

His answer is abrupt and biting. He looks up in surprise and scolds himself for not noticing Jeremy enter his dorm room with his own (illegally copied) room key.

The kitchen is a mess and if Jean were more inclined to think poetically, he would parallel it with the current state of his life. Except he’s in a much better state than he was in one year ago, six months ago, even. Jean was a survivor, not in the same way as Neil, but he was used to accepting abuse and channeling the remnants of his energy into surviving.

Because the season is over and he had sponsorship offers to accept or reject, he had finals to study for and pass. Because he has a million things other than exy to focus on. Because Jeremy is leaving and come graduation they’ll both be on different pro teams and it won’t matter that they decided to fuck around during their last year of college.

And now his favorite fucking mug is broken and Jean can’t even save it like some pathetic souvenir when he’s all alone in his new apartment in Seattle and desperately wishing Jeremy was sitting next to him.

 “Jean,” Jeremy starts again calmly. He’s always frustratingly calm. “What are you doing down there.”

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

Jeremy ignores his tone, grabs a dish rag off the counter, and squats down next to Jean in the cramped kitchen to begin picking up the shattered pieces of the mug.

“Stop it.”

“I’m helping clean up. Be careful, you might cut yourself.”

“Just leave it alone, Jeremy.” Jean grabs the dish towel from Jeremy and goes back to collecting the cracked pieces.

“Just let me–”

“It’s not about the fucking mug,” Jean hisses.

It should end like this, Jean thinks.

The last year of Jean’s life has been too peaceful, too comfortable to be real. Now he has a future to think of and thanks to Neil, a professional exy career to maintain. Jeremy’s been a distraction, a small reprieve from the reality of Jean’s life. Once in a rare fit of anger, Jeremy told him to stop feeling sorry for himself. Jean wonders if that’s what this is now, him feeling sorry for himself. Him not being able to cope with having a crime syndicate patiently aiming a gun at him should he fail or years of knowing his life would never belong to him.

“I know it’s not about the mug.” Jeremy replies, “but if you don’t tell me what’s going on how am I supposed to help?”

“Just stop trying to help then.”

Jeremy doesn’t need him in his life and Jean doesn’t need Jeremy. He doesn’t need Jeremy running in like it’s some sort of fairy tale as if handing Jean back the broken pieces of his life actually helps fix things. Because Jeremy is a fixer. He fixes things and Jean isn’t just another pet project for Jeremy to fix and feel satisfied with himself for being such a fucking decent person.

(Jean’s not crying; he trained his body out of crying years ago.)

Jean isn’t sure when the striker moves, but Jeremy is in front of him with his face twisted with a concerned expression. Jean lets his expression fall into something cold and dead, unfeeling.

“If you want me to leave then just tell me to and I’ll stop bothering you.” Jeremy searches Jean’s face.

“Then why don’t you leave?” Jean asks, voice flat.

“That’s not the same thing.”

“You’re going to leave anyway so what’s the difference. We as well cut things off now.”

Jeremy’s expression stays steady and unmoving in it’s calmness. “You’re leaving too. We’re both leaving after graduation but that doesn’t mean –”

“Doesn’t mean we can’t still fuck around,” Jean responds barely hiding vitriol in his words. “What you think I’ll still let you fuck me on the side whenever we happen to play each other?”

Jeremy lets out a mirthless laugh. “God you’re a selfish asshole.”

Jean’s been scared his entire life yet Jeremy has always managed to scare Jean more with his endless fountain of optimism and resolve. Jean spent the first few months convinced it was an act but it turned out Jeremy is just the kind of person who desperately wants to believe the best in people but is cautious enough to know when to defend himself.

“I’m not trying to fix you if that’s what you think,” Jeremy says after some time. “And I’m not trying to use you either. Christ, I don’t really know what I’m doing? Or what’s going to happen after graduation but I don’t want us to just end.”

“There’s not really an us, it’s a proximity thing. In the Nest…” Jean trails off.

It’s their dynamic. Jean chips away at Jeremy’s cheerful disposition to find the person underneath and Jeremy gently nudges Jean into wanting to move forward. It’s terrifying, Jean thinks, how much control they seem to influence over each other. And to think of how much they’ve come to rely on each other. It’s not codependent but Jean isn’t sure where the line between healthy mutual support and codependence is.

“This isn’t the Nest and you’re not a Raven anymore.” Jeremy gently places the dish towel of broken ceramic on the ground as he slowly moves closer to Jean. “I’m not…I thought you knew that we weren’t doing this just because we’re on the same team.”

Jean’s exhausted. The fight leaves his body and he feels almost as drain as he did after a particularly long practice where Jeremy was in a cheerfully vicious mood to get the freshman into shape after they slacked off all winter break. Not Ravens exhausted but exhausted nonetheless.

Jeremy places his hands lightly over Jeans biceps waiting to gauge Jean’s reaction. When in Jean doesn’t push him away, he hooks his chin over Jean’s shoulder. It’s an approximation of a hug, something less foreign and uncomfortable to Jean. It takes a few slow deep breaths before Jean moves his own hands to lightly grip Jeremy’s forearms and curl his face into the crook of Jeremy’s neck.

They stay like this for a few long moments feeling the other breath and tremble beneath their hands.

Jeremy is the first to move as he moves to brush a soft his against Jean’s temple, his forehead, his cheekbone right over the number three tattoo, a small sprinkling of kisses. Jean pulls back. He searches Jeremy’s face only to be met with confusion and determination. Raw. Jeremy’s words, I don’t know what I’m doing, echo back.

It hits Jean for the first time that neither of them know exactly what what’s been going on between them means. They’ve been sleeping together for months trying not to examine what was going on in fear that it meant that they both seemed to want the same physical thing. Maybe they should have talked about it more.

Jean’s feelings for Jeremy started out as a gentle nudge until it hit him like a quick efficient punch in the gut leaving him kneeling over in shock and pain. He never thought for a moment that Jeremy felt the same way but considering his eyes now it sees the uncertainty and pain. 

Jean doesn’t know softness, he doesn’t know how to be careful and gentle but he thinks perhaps Jeremy might have taught him a few things. He moves again. Trailing his hands up Jeremy’s arms until they come to rest almost cradling Jeremy’s face. He inches closer until their faces are a breadth apart. Jeremy allows the moment to stretch on and for Jean to dictate the next step. He presses a soft kiss on the corner of Jeremy’s lips then after a moment directly against Jeremy’s lips.

They don’t kiss like it’s their last kiss but it’s a culmination of all their previous kisses. It’s soft and slow and desperate and longing and Jean wishes he didn’t have to come up for air. But his hands only slide back into Jeremy’s hair as Jeremy begins to slowly make his way down the column of Jean’s neck with open mouthed kisses.

Jean isn’t sure how long it goes on but the quiet moan he lets out seems like a shout in the quiet dorm.

Jeremy pulls back in surprise. Jean tightens his loose grip on Jeremy’s hair to keep him from moving too far away.

“There’s glass,” Jean’s voice cracks from disuse. “There’s glass, clay on the ground.”

“There is,” Jeremy whispers back.

Neither of them say anything for a moment. Yet they both seem to understand as Jean detangles his hands from Jeremy’s hair. The careful walk from the kitchen to Jean’s bed happens in sort of a blur. One moment they’re huddled together on the floor of the kitchen and the next Jeremy is brushing his thumbs over the arch of Jean’s cheekbones.

(The first time goes like this: Jeremy listens to Jeans cues, carefully, patiently, waiting for Jean to change his mind and put a stop to things. Jean gets fed up with waiting, flips them over and takes Jeremy in his mouth until Jeremy is gasping and biting his bottom lip.)

Jeremy lets his hands tracing over Jean’s body like they’ve already mapped out the landmarks but still insist on looking for hidden treasures. They lose their shirts as Jean guides them down onto the bed. They lose their pant somewhere between Jeremy snapping one of Jean’s belt loops and Jean kissing Jeremy’s strong thigh muscles.

Jean makes his way up leaving open mouthed kisses and gentle nips at the skin of Jeremy’s inner thigh. He holds Jeremy’s leg still as he works a hickey right on the edge of Jeremy’s boxer briefs. Jeremy gives a quick tug at his shoulder until he finally leaves the spot to find Jeremy’s lips again.

It’s a less refined process of shucking off their boxers, but they manage it surprisingly well without having to break their kiss too often. Jeremy fishes around Jean’s nightstand for the lube before taking them both in hand.

It’s cold but neither of them can quite bring themselves to care when they were so wrapped up in the feeling of their bodies close again. Jeremy builds up a steady rhythm that has Jean burying his face into Jeremy’s shoulder so that the people in the next room can’t hear his soft groans.

Jean thinks maybe this is it.

That when they get their diplomas that this doesn’t have to end. That he can still feel Jeremy’s hot hands on him, in him, around him. That he can map out the smattering of freckles on his sunkissed shoulders. That Jean can show him better passing maneuvers or give French lessons at one in the morning when Jean can’t quite get to sleep. That Jeremy can teach him to knit hats or cook spag bol the proper way when Jeremy’s feeling homesick. Or all the millions of tiny moments they’ve shared together built up of all the millions of tiny moments Jeremy has spent wiggling his way into Jean’s life.

Jean isn’t thinking of the friction or of Jeremy’s hot heavy hand wrapped around both their cocks. Instead he’s thinking of the possibility of curling up with Jeremy of arguing over who gets the single pillow on the bed as Jeremy finally brings him over the edge.

Jean mouths at Jeremy’s shoulder and collar bone as Jeremy works himself over. His whole body trembles as he reaches his orgasm and Jean cups a hand around his face and wraps him up in a kiss that’s more breath and brushing lips than actual kissing.

He knows it isn’t over, that they should clean up and take care of the broken mug in the kitchen – that they should talk about graduation and whatever comes next.

But for now Jean can accept that this isn’t how it ends.


End file.
